Keep calm and have sex! Government advice to England fans after disastrous World Cup

DEVASTATED football fans have been urged to have sex to get over England’s shocking World Cup campaign.

BEAST WITH TWO BACKS: Englands fans told have sex to forget about Roo and Stevie G's early exit from Brazil[GETTY/PIC POSED BY MODELS]

Many gutted Three Lions fans are likely to drown their sorrows by hitting the bottle.

But the Government-funded Men’s Health Forum says there are much healthier ways to get over the miserable failure by Roy’s boys in Brazil.

Bosses have issued a World Cup Survival Guide which insists that one of the best ways for fans to beat the blues is to jump straight into the sack.

It says: “Try at least one of these tips to beat depression: take some exercise, sing, have sex, do something you enjoy, do something different.”

Bizarrely, it suggests the latter could include simply filling in your World Cup wall chart “with a different colour pen”.

Health chiefs say football lovers are far more likely to have heavy booze sessions during the tournament and eat junk food as they head to the pub to watch matches.

The Forum points out that male hospital admissions for heart attacks rocketed by 25% when England were knocked out of the 1998 World Cup on penalties to arch-rivals Argentina.

“Try at least one of these tips to beat depression: take some exercise, sing, have sex, do something you enjoy, do something different”

World Cup Survival Guide

And at Euro 1996, when Terry Venables’ men lost to Germany on penalties at Wembley, there was a whopping 50% rise in heart problems.

The Forum even pokes fun at veteran England star Frank Lampard, 36, who has yet to play one minute of football in Brazil.

“Warming the bench is fine for Frank Lampard but not for you,” says the guide.

“World Cup managers live or die on the quality of substitutions.

“Make some smart ones of your own when choosing the World Cup takeaway.

“Look no further than Greece’s 3-0 defeat to Colombia for the dangers of too many kebabs.”

The advice came as England fans began jetting home early in their droves to escape the World Cup debacle.

Tickets for the Three Lions’ final group game against Costa Rica tomorrow were being sold at face value on Rio’s Copacabana beach.

RELATED ARTICLES

• England World Cup: Costa Rica win knocks England out as Roy Hodgson faces calls to resign
• Twitter map reveals 6.7million tweets sent during England World Cup match
• Here we groan: Hangover from hell as England World Cup fans drown sorrow

Police who have taken a tough stance on touting seemed to sympathise with despondent fans desperate to escape a match rendered meaningless after Costa Rica’s 1-0 win over Italy sent England crashing out of the tournament.

One distraught fan said: “I’m going home. It feels like I’ve gate-crashed someone else’s party.

“One of the cops saw me trying to sell my Costa Rica ticket but when I explained he just smiled, gave me a look of sympathy and patted me on the back. That just about sums it up.”

Meanwhile, WAG Coleen Rooney, 28, faced a backlash from fans following her decision last week to take 18 suitcases of clothes to Brazil to see England striker husband Wayne, 28, play.

She said she needed the vast amount of luggage because she thought England would make it to the final, adding: “I have faith and support my country.”

Unhappy England supporters could not wait to stick the boot in, with DoubleG91 tweeting: “Eating your words now Coleen.”